Hey girl, hey! (or boy. Everyone’s welcome.)

You didn’t think the whole song lyrics instead of actual conversation thing was a one time deal, right? Great! Cause I got another one for you. For those of you who need a bit of catching up, here’s the deal: a dude on Tinder says something dumb to me so I send him song lyrics one line at a time until he goes away/I turn into this emoji 😂.

This week we’re taking a turn into musical theatre land! This eloquent gentleman chose to open up the lines of communication with “Sexy.” NOPE. If a guy said that to me in a bar, I would roll my eyes so hard they’d get stuck in the back of my head…In any case, it’ll never work, sir. I’m a theatre nerd and you had absolutely NO CLUE what I was talking about when sending you lyrics to “Everything’s Coming Up Roses” from Gypsy. #straightboyproblems

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My favorite part of that entire exchange is “stop act normal for a little.” The lack of punctuation, the hope that some half assed demand from a stranger will get through to me and make me change my ways. Precious.

I’ve had some people reach out to tell me that they too are engaging in the song lyric defense when Tinder trolls pop up and to that I say:

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If you’d like to share your fun, PLEASE be in touch. Together, we can stop these idiots [insert a PSA starring Sarah McLachlan about the horrors of online dating]