Dating. It’s a mystery, wrapped in a conundrum, deep fried in a headache…and now there are countless websites and apps that are here to “help” us find our lobster.

Enter Tinder.

I have friends who love Tinder because it’s the closest thing to seeing someone in a bar and deciding to approach them. Amazing! I totally get that. And you know what, approaching a stranger is not easy. They might be taken, they might be crazy, they might be super boring and beige (my personal nightmare), but you’d probably figure that out soon enough by saying some benign sentences; “Hi, I’m Sherz” “What do you do?” “Oh, you’re a librarian who enjoys cos play.” “Nice meeting you!” Simple. Harmless. Educational.

Now in the Tinderverse, some idiots get a little too comfortable hiding behind their cell phone and instead of just being normal, they say dumb shit and you know what, dumb shit deserves dumb shit. So now, if a guy on Tinder sends me something that wouldn’t fly if he approached me in a bar, I shall fuck with him. My ammo of choice? Song lyrics. I choose a song and just send a line at a time until the dumb-dumb gets royally confused and gives up.

For this dude, I chose that Hall and Oats classic, “I Can’t Go For That.” Enjoy.

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