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So this week, two of my girlfriends and I decided to give online dating a try, specifically Okcupid. If you are not familiar with Okcupid (or as we lovingly call it, Okstupid), it’s a free online dating site that most of the single people I know in New York are either on or have tried. It’s super user friendly and very noncommittal. DISCLAIMER ALERT! There are definitely some cute/normal/successful guys on this site. This post is not about them. This post is for a very special group of men and to them, I’d like to say, “Hey! You’re the worst.”

Like this prince of a gent. Sadly, it’ll never work out between us, sir, because I don’t have a parrot or a tolerance for your douchebaggery.
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Next up, I’d like to introduce the “Needy Guys.” If a female said ANY of these things, she’d be labeled crazy in half a heartbeat! Guys, guess what? SAMESIES!!! Hey, stranger danger, let’s get married! NOPE/BYE.

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I like to call this next one #sexydeaththreat. Enough said.

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And lastly we have the “Overly Sexual Guy.” I don’t know how this man and I are an 82% match. He mentions “kink” not only in his first attempt to speak to me but also in his username (I mean, points for honesty…I guess…). Somehow the Okcupid gods were like “Yeah, this dude that loves weird sex and this girl who loves baking chocolate chip cookies and watching The Mindy Project. Great Match!”

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Sooooooo, all of this happened in the first 48 hours of being on this site which has led to little hope and lots of laughing. But, don’t worry Okstupid. I’m not giving up on you just yet. Like I said, there are some promising prospects but writing about them would be boring so bring on the crazies!